


the edge of an ocean of ice

by hiddenheadspace



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel True Forms, Fix-It, Hearing Voices, Implied Relationships, Lucifer's Cage, Season/Series 09, Vessels, sam saved the world once you know, weird prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 05:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddenheadspace/pseuds/hiddenheadspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sam wakes and listens but can't understand</p>
            </blockquote>





	the edge of an ocean of ice

**Author's Note:**

> Weird prose style. I'm working on aQSoM I promise but this wanted to be written.

In the aftermath of his failure to complete the trials, something hovers in the corners of Sam’s mind, something that presses and demands to be seen.

He turns his head away from it, instinctively, or maybe just frightened.

It comes back to him in dreams: and endless space, a frozen ocean, how he’d tripped over the edge of a wave as he made his way to the beach. (all ice crystals that reflected light into his eyes like diamonds)

(a shriek a scream noise like pain turned into sound)

He wakes into silence and the darkness of early morning. The weight in his peripheral vision has lifted, but pressure wraps tight claws around his skull.

He dreams of standing on a very high precipice, feeling overtaken by vertigo without looking over the edge. (a curl of ice like steel around his chest keeping him from tumbling off the edge)

He dreams of being dizzy, standing near a fire and nearly falling in.

He wakes with a word on his tongue, seconds away from it calling out. (where are you his soul begs)

He starts to think he can hear someone calling to him even when he’s alone. (sam _sam_ if only you could hear me)

Something’s wrong with Dean. They’re both too distracted to try to see what’s the matter. Sam is half glad Dean doesn’t notice him sometimes turning to follow a sound that he can’t quite hear.

Time slips between the cracks of his mind and the feeling of something wrapped around his skill and squeezing grows stronger.

He dreams of something so bright and beautiful that his body is turned to dust, leaving only his soul behind to whisper a word over and over.

(yes yes yes yes yes)

He wakes with tears staining his cheeks. The entire day seems drenched in something bitter.

He bolts awake from sleep to the sound of someone shouting his name. Nobody is ever there. He stares in the mirror for an hour one morning, not noticing the passage of time through the haze that seems to coat his mind. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for. Only the urgency with which he looks is clear in his mind.

Sam screams, silent, helpless, as Gadreel flees with his body. They stand at a quiet roadside for a long minute. Gadreel is in turmoil.

(sam)

He hears the word clearly and understands.

 _Gadreel_ , he says.

“Sam. I am sorry for this.”

 _Did you forget that I’m Lucifer’s vessel?_ he asks. _I’ve struggled with angels much more powerful than you._

Sam is tired, but Gadreel is not as strong as he’d worried. He claws at the holes in Gadreel’s control for an achingly long minute.

(he is not yours to take)

(the edge of an ocean of ice two hands entwined the true form of an angel the)

(love)

(i)

(i love)

(you know i love you)

Sam wins. He hitchhikes to a bus stop and heads in a direction he isn’t certain of. He thinks he might be going to St. Mary’s Convent.

(i know)

(i love you too) 


End file.
